Computer Gnomes

Sometimes you just can't find a program you want. And finally after searching for hours, when you do find a program you’re looking for it sucks, and doesn’t do quite what you want it to do.  I have spent upwards of 40 hours in a single day doing just this.  Take today for instance, I was looking for a program to auto save Notepad.  You would think that something like auto saving notepad would be the easiest thing to find or implement in our world of super advanced technology.  But nope, you have to jump through hoops to do this.

One way is to download another program that’s like Notepad with auto save built into it...  Unfortunately all of these programs are ridiculously complex.  I mean, why do I need the option to launch tactical nuclear missiles through Notepad?  I just want to type simple notes, and to have those notes auto save in case Windows decides that it wants to reset (mostly because it likes to incite anger). 

As I am sure you’re all aware, there are gnomes that live inside your computer, who look through the camera.  When these gnomes see you stand up and walk out of the room they trigger the automatic update reset function to initiate the 15 minute countdown until reset.  It’s a game for those gnomes, "Mu ha ha ha ha, no one is using the computer and they have all their documents open, lets reset now!"  Sometimes you make it back before the computer restarts and are able to hit the “Delay for 4 hours” option.  The gnomes know that you have won this round, but in 4 hours, they will shower in your tears when you fail to catch the computer resetting next time. 

I’m sure that you all recall the days before every computer had a camera; Microsoft just had the 15 minute countdown occur every 30 seconds when it wanted to reset.  This is a typical Windows 98 conversation while working on an important project with a fixed deadline:

Suddenly a window pops up and says, "Windows has important updates to install!  Would you like to reset now?" 

"No" you would click.  

Thirty seconds later "How about now?"

"No, I said dammit!"  You would shout at the computer, quickly pressing the wait button.

Ten second later "Are you ready yet?" the computer would cheerfully ask.

"Noooo!" you would hastily click, becoming frustrated at the computer’s incessant questioning.

This would go on until Windows finally wore away at your last nerve and you finally caved in and reset the computer.  Either that or you walked away for a minute only to be distracted by something and realized too late, as you ran back to the computer, that it has just finished counting down to reset.  With a smug smile on windows face, it knew that it had won the battle.

Silly Joke of the Day

What do you get when you cross a gnome with a computer?  A short circuit.